Five years of neglect and mistreatment would definitely crush her entire being to the point that it could no longer go back to the way it was before. He could only wonder how she managed to cope up with everything. For letting her be, he hates himself. He finds himself more than undeserving - he is unlovable.
Even then, Adrian decided to condemn himself in silence and focus on making things right instead. He already wasted a lot of time, and if he became too absorbed in his self-loathing and hatred, he might end up losing more. That's why he tried and tried to make it alright even when he felt that it could never be right again just like what Cassidy said.
"I-Is it too late now, Cassidy...?" he managed to say despite how weak he was starting to become.
"But even if it is, I'm still going to try. I'll try harder to-"
"You don't have to anymore. Everything has long been overdue..." she cut him off firmly, already steeling her resolve.
"Have you ever wondered why I was in the airport that time? Before the plane crashed and caused my amnesia...? I remember now. It was because I had been planning to flee. I had wanted to escape this place. Even before, I already made up my mind - I would leave."
Right then, he feels his entire world shatter.
The devastation was absolute - it showed when he paled so much that he appeared like he died within. Excruciating pain tyrannizes him, making it hard for him to breathe. All words began to fall from his throat, and all thoughts he had became a huge mess. What is left is him in his broken state.
The emotions come in turbulent waves - grueling, horrifying and debilitating. It is a million shards in his guts. In the quietest moment, it really feels like death as it strangles him to his last breath and short circuits his mind. What was once barely whole had been broken to smithereens - where once was full had become void and empty, echoing the love he had put his everything into.
"No... I can't... I can't just let you go..."
Pleading, Adrian leaned down in front of her and looked at her straight in the eye. Cassidy blushed at their sudden closeness, but before she had a chance to push him away, he grabbed her hands and pulled her into an embrace. He gently pushed her face towards his chest and kept her there as he continued to speak.
"I'd never been a good husband to you. I know that. I deserve to be hated, and I deserve to pay a hundredfold for all the horrible things I did, but please..." he begged as he squeezed her tighter.
"Give me another chance to do things the right way this time."
"I don't really hate you..." Cassidy trailed off and stayed still.
"If I ever said that I hated you, I didn't mean it. Whether it was for what you did or not, you helped me get through so many things. You helped me a lot, and I will never be able to forget that."
He was fighting himself from kissing her righ
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